Chapter 1: This is a special ability
In fact, I believe that whether or not there are any supernatural abilities is not important. Most people are simply seeking novelty and stimulation, thinking that possessing something ordinary people do not have is particularly trendy and fashionable. This is akin to the initial experience of eating wasabi, which feels exhilarating and intense, but if you were to eat it every day as a meal, no one could endure it. Ordinary people are not even facing cancer; who would want that?
After carefully calculating the matter of the claim and estimating that there was little hope, I quickly fled the scene of the incident before the onlookers, who would gather at the slightest delay in tying their shoelaces, arrived. I blended in among them to observe this unexpected incident, which revolved around me, from the perspective of a bystander.
However, the most difficult words to utter in this world, apart from "I love you," are "Please return the money."
The atmosphere here is quite pleasant and widely recognized, which is why our bar is filled with patrons every day. However, they are usually the type of people who can sip a single cup of coffee for an entire afternoon, sometimes even staying until we close. There are even several elderly gentlemen who come here daily to play chess. They come, and that’s fine, but the key point is that they bring their own tea. A few of them only spend the minimum of twelve yuan each on a can of beer, allowing them to sit in our bar until dawn. My colleagues and I lead an incredibly leisurely life, quickly turning a few regulars into familiar faces. However, these familiar patrons often come with ulterior motives, making it difficult for us to handle them. After all, the life experience of these elderly gentlemen is substantial; it’s not hard for them to outsmart a few inexperienced young ones in the blink of an eye. Speaking of cucumbers, it reminds me of Cixi, where the cucumbers are quite famous
There is an ancient saying in China: "The unusual is deemed a monster." According to this theory, all the staff and the owner of our bar have already been classified as monsters. However, Wang Dehai and I are particularly sensitive to the term "monster." As stated in the 337th quote from Bi Fang, "If anyone dares to call me a monster, I will kill them."
Yueyue is someone I know well; she has been able to foresee things since childhood. In simple terms, it means that no matter who it is, as soon as they lift their butt, Yueyue immediately knows what they are about to excrete. Therefore, she has always been the leader among the children in our area, and I have often followed her around.
When I looked up at the person coming in, I realized that my statement was probably unnecessary. The person was none other than Wang Dehai and Jack's master uncle, who is said to work at the Taoist Association, responsible for guarding the entrance and occasionally visiting to assess feng shui and measure burial sites. In fact, he, like Wang Dehai's master, is already a master of Taoist arts, but he is also petty, stingy, and quite unpredictable. We are often at his mercy, and since his senior brother was killed by a black taxi, he has always considered himself an elder, demanding various things from us. One of the rules of our bar is that we never provide this old man with food and drinks for free at any time.
In fact, the bar where I work is more akin to a café than a bar, as most visitors come here seeking tranquility. It is quite strange; one would expect a bar to be overwhelmingly noisy, yet our entire staff is resolutely committed to not playing music with a tempo exceeding a quarter beat. Moreover, our boss has been swayed by some female colleague's gossip to prohibit smoking within the bar. Coupled with the influence of two female colleagues' bourgeois sensibilities, we have decorated the bar in a manner that is exceptionally serene and cozy. This has resulted in our bar becoming the only place in the city that plays Bandari music daily, infused with the aromas of coffee and lilies, and bathed in a languid warm light, serving as a legendary center for old cadres to play chess and take naps.
I continue to be in a daze
In fact, speaking of this, I have also been in love; back in the day, I experienced the joys of youth. However, those around me say that it doesn't count. They claim that if you haven't caused trouble for a few young ladies during university, you can't really say you've attended university. Yet, I still believe that love is about the exchange of souls rather than bodily fluids. Therefore, I stubbornly maintain that I once had a deeply memorable love, which was also a cross-cultural romance. However, that girl eventually returned to Japan, saying she was going back to inherit her father's legacy. She also told me that if fate allows, we would meet again. I find that a bit far-fetched, to be honest. Aside from her, I have never even seen a Japanese person dressed up.
Wang Dehai replied: "You must hold on, it was Xiaoyue's idea"
Well, I personally feel that this bar will not last much longer; it seems to be on the verge of closing down, as salaries have not been paid for two months. Every time I see Wang Dehai, who is both the half shareholder and one-fifth of the cleaning staff, I want to ask him whether I will ever see my money again
The billboard is thirty-five stories above the ground. The triangular iron on the sign has been flattened by me. I am completely unharmed
Although in the end I still found out, as they took turns performing, their performances were more splendid and dazzling than mine, leaving me in a state of amazement
You are the demon, even your household registration book is a demon, this is merely a special ability, haven't you seen "The God of Gamblers"? Why waste words, drink if you want to drink
Everyone: "... ..."
Furthermore, with my current monthly salary of 600, how can I go to Japan to propose? Should I say to her: "Hey, big sister! I am invulnerable, will you marry me?" Stop joking around, this is just nonsense
Xiaoyue replied: "They can't hide it from me, brother, you know that. They are afraid you won't be able to accept it. They think you are an ordinary person, but I told them you are not. I even mentioned that you are a fierce warrior. But they didn't believe me; they said you are even worse than an ordinary person and forbade me from telling you." Although I may be a bit slow, I am certainly not foolish. It seems that the mastermind is still my sister, who has been my only companion.
I was infuriated at that moment. I can tolerate anything, but I cannot stand others not trusting me. So, I first poked myself with a knife and found that I only felt a slight sensation. Even the fruit knife that often cuts the hands of customers, which is as delicate as splitting hairs, could not even break the skin on the back of my tender hand. With that, I gained confidence and performed a series of impressive feats in front of them, including smashing stones with my chest, throwing darts at my temples, and striking my forehead with a brick.
Well, at most there are just a few ordinary people who seem a bit strange
"Xiao Yang, why are you here alone today? I recently heard that the rent in this area has increased. Has the price of beer gone up for you all?" These middle-aged and elderly retired workers, who have nothing to do every day, are most concerned about where to buy eggs at four for one free, and how much the price of housing has fluctuated per square meter. They all act as if they are like Buffett; it is truly a waste of talent that they do not engage in futures trading.
It seems that too often I have overestimated the cultural taste of these individuals; someone who has never even watched "Journey to the West" or "Calabash Brothers" dares to randomly call others "fairies"
However, after my performance, they still wore expressions of indifference, and I almost lost my composure. In the end, it was the eighteen-year-old girl, Yueyue, who comforted me.
However, even if the bar were to close down, Wang Dehai would absolutely not dare to lay off any employees. In his words, "At worst, I would squander all the old man's money and then we would all be unemployed together, but I still believe we cannot lay off anyone."
I have already transcended my anger: "Why can't I look a bit better than the Predator?"
Did you not notice that they are all somewhat abnormal
I had hit a nerve, and the old man chuckled awkwardly a couple of times without saying a word. It was evident that he felt particularly embarrassed at that moment, as our voices were indeed quite loud, and the retired officials around us were casting sidelong glances at him. Everyone knew him, but no one had any fondness for this old man.
Thinking about random and chaotic matters is quite taxing on the mind; indulging in such fantasies should not be done excessively, as it can easily lead one to prematurely enter a state of senility. Therefore, I have decided to focus my thoughts and tidy up the place, as I estimate that Xiaoyue and the others will be back soon. They went out for a group shopping trip today and did not inform me about what they intended to buy. However, I can't help but feel that it has a somewhat farewell dinner vibe. Ah, there is a faint sense of parting lingering in the air. Thus, I have resolved to concentrate my thoughts and clean up, as I anticipate that Xiaoyue and the others will soon return from their group shopping trip, which they did not disclose to me. Yet, I still feel that it carries a hint of a farewell dinner atmosphere. Ah, the air is permeated with a subtle sense of parting.
Xiao Li Zi replied: "I have gotten used to it; it was truly not intentional"
In one's youth, people often live recklessly and freely. When they reach their seventies or eighties and look back, most will have to pat their chests, take a deep breath, and simply wish for peace and safety. Peace is indeed a blessing
Although I do not expect them to tell me, many strange things need to be shared with others; otherwise, one might end up like many protagonists in novels and TV dramas, becoming psychologically distorted due to the accumulation of secrets, ultimately seeking to conquer the world and become the king of the world. Isn't that insane? Just give me 200 million, and I would prefer to fend for myself, which is far more practical.
Indeed, I am often referred to as a monster, a fairy, a transgender person, a pervert, or scum by others
Old man, let me tell you, you still owe me over 1,300 yuan. It's been two years, do you have any shame? You are so fond of taking advantage of others; if you really had short hands, you would have been paralyzed long ago
Oh, are you the only one here today? Please bring me a cup of soy milk first
Look at this group of weathered old men and women in the bar; the so-called passionate love we talk about today is merely what they have left behind. Isn't it said that revolutionary love during special times is particularly romantic? I seem to remember that it was Shen Aojun in "The Hidden" who said this to Sun Honglei; it's so classic
There are a total of five people in our bar, apart from me and Wang Dehai, there are three others. My sister Yang Yue serves as the cashier, accountant, and purchaser of the bar, while that shameless Wang Dehai is pursuing her. Wang Dehai's senior brother, Li Jieke, is the half-majority shareholder, bartender, security personnel, and one-fifth of the cleaning staff. Li Jieke and our cashier, who is also one-fifth of the cleaning staff and a resident singer, Bi Fang, share a pure childhood friendship.
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Yang Yun. I hold a bachelor's degree and currently serve as the lobby manager, waiter, beverage promoter, and part-time cleaner at Shanhai Bar. I am male, reportedly of Han ethnicity, standing at 1.75 meters tall and weighing 75 kilograms. My left eye has a myopic astigmatism of 330 degrees, while my right eye is myopic at 250 degrees. My appearance can only be described as having well-defined features, without any cleft lip or facial scars. I have no bad habits (except for smoking), I am unmarried, 25 years old, and I enjoy writing. My favorite animal is the cat, and my favorite people include Wang Dehai, Bi Fang, and the actor Leonardo DiCaprio.
If I were capable, would I need you? You have no idea how much effort it takes me to catch a chicken, do you? I'm not like my deceased senior brother. That day, I told him not to buy those discounted eggs, but he wouldn't listen. He even said something like, if it's meant to be, it will be, and you can't escape it...
Bi Fang replied: "I am used to it, it is not intentional. https://www.hetushu.com"
I : `` ... ... ? ''
Welcome, may I ask what you would like to order
Well, it seems I might be a bit superfluous, but that's alright. I reckon Wang Dehai wouldn't dare do anything to me; after all, I am a veteran of this bar, having worked here since my university days. Moreover, I am not afraid of unemployment. If it comes to that, I could apply to be a bulletproof vest test shooter. I even saw an advertisement for it in the newspaper yesterday, and the pay is quite good. In any case, such work poses no real danger to me. My only concern is ending up being recruited by some special agency like the Dragon Group that often appears in novels for experiments. After all, Iron Man was nearly incapacitated by something weighing just over a ton, while I wouldn't be bothered by such a weight.
You little brat, you have quite the nerve. Do you know that with just one palm thunder, I could incapacitate you? Hurry up with the soy milk!
At that moment, I was indeed taken aback. Although I had never suffered any injuries since childhood, not even a cold or cough, this could only indicate that I was fortunate and in good health. However, anyone would lose their composure if struck by a large Paris L'Oréal advertisement measuring several dozen square meters. The instant I was hit, I almost lost control of my bladder. Moreover, the more tragic aspect was that I realized I had indeed been struck, yet there was no way to claim compensation from the billboard owner, as it was akin to a man accusing a woman of assault, with no evidence to support the claim.
I possess good character, am talented at a young age, and occasionally exhibit a deep yet somewhat bourgeois demeanor, while at other times I am cheerful and enthusiastic. My attitude towards life is optimistic and upward-looking. I highly suspect that those who call me this have never watched "Journey to the West" or "Huluwa".
As for transvestites, scoundrels, and perverts, that is undoubtedly a complete fabrication
I have said so much, and you only give me a glass of water? A demon is indeed a demon, truly devoid of humanity
We are trialing the new work policy recently introduced by the state, which allows for two days of work followed by five days off. Due to the lack of tasks, we generally have only one person on duty each day, allowing us to rest for five days a week. This is the perfect life that many office workers dream of, but the salary is somewhat low, essentially remaining at a minimal level.
... ...
At that time, I had been with them for many years, and I had never noticed anything about them that was different from normal people, except that the little boy Bibang seemed to have not grown much, Wang Dehai would disappear for a few days every month on the fifteenth day of the lunar calendar, and Xiao Li often drew strange symbols and stuck them around. Apart from that, they really did not have anything that set them apart from normal people
Later, Yueyue resolutely realized that communicating with me was akin to teaching an African elephant to dance the peacock dance, and she gave up
It is indeed strange that the old man does not know. He and his senior apprentice, who is also the deceased master of Wang Dehai, have different areas of study. One specializes in the arrangement of the spiritual energy of heaven and earth and the drawing of talismans, while the other studies astrology and the mysterious arts of the four seas. If it were not for the regulations of their sect, Wang would likely win the lottery every time, so why would he need to borrow money from us
I drink, I drink
Question: Where is a person least likely to be discovered
I : `` ... ... ? ''
It is all nonsense
In fact, I am just an ordinary person
Why are you all keeping this from me? Even Yueyue knows? According to Xiao Li, there was despair in my eyes at that moment, but I firmly believe I was just frightened by them
Don't make a fuss, what do you want? Hurry up and say it, do you need to borrow money?
However, I believe they are all nonsense
Whenever he speaks, as long as he mentions his senior brother, it must be the truth. Although there is no substantial basis for this, a man's sixth sense is equally sharp
This is a mandatory course for our waitstaff. Regardless of who the guests are or what you are doing, you must start with this phrase. To be a good server, you need to study the psychology of today's adult consumers. As long as we take the initiative, guests are likely to make a purchase. Of course, retired officials are not included in this category.
The first time I realized I was different from ordinary people was a long, long time ago, when I was about twenty-two years old, in my final year of university. One day, I was struck by an iron advertising sign, yet I was completely unharmed
However, after I spoke about the strange things happening to me, apart from Xiaoyue carefully checking my hair, the others hardly reacted at all; their responses were mostly perfunctory.
I will pour you a glass of water while we wait for Dehai and the others to return
Why don't you do it yourself?
I remember being very angry at that time, but I have forgotten how I stopped being angry. In any case, it has just passed like that, and it has been several years. We have actually lived worse than ordinary people.
She said, "You are too slow-witted, only now realizing it."
Xiao Yang, as an elder, I will not hold it against you. I, Wang Zhenhua, was once a prominent figure in my time. I am here today to assist you with a matter, as I know your business is on the verge of collapse, and I want to help you make a profit.
After returning to the bar, I described the entire sequence of events to Wang Dehai and Xiaoyue. In reality, there was no complex sequence; simply put, I was struck on the head by something weighing at least two tons from a height of over one hundred meters. However, aside from some psychological trauma, there were no visible injuries. I seek reasons and explanations
While I was wiping the table, the welcoming bell at the entrance rang. The welcoming bell is a wind chime hanging at the door, which jingles loudly when someone enters. You must have heard Jay Chou's "Peninsula Iron Box," right? It's the tune at the beginning. It was a knockoff that Bi Fang specifically bought from Taobao.
In a crowd of people